i think God can explain...pearlfields
I Think God Can Explain by Splender There's a lot of things I understand And there's a lot of things that I don't want to know But you're the only face I recognize It's so damn sweet of you to look me in the eyes It's alright, I'm O.K. I think God can explain I believe I'm the same I get caried away It's alright, I'm O.K. I think God can explain I'm relieved I'm relaxed I'll get over it yet The sent of vasoline in the summertime The feel of an icecube Melting overtime The world seems bigger Than both of us Yet it seems so small when I begin to cry It's alright I'm O.K. I think God can explain I believe I'm the same I get carried away It's alright I'm O.K. I think God can explain I'm relieved I'm relaxed I'll get over it yet. I'm so much better than you guessed I'm so much bigger than you guessed I'm so much brighter than you guessed I'ts alright I'm O.K. I think God can explain I believe I'm the same I get carried away It's alright I'm O.K. I think God can explain I'm relieved I'm relaxed I'll get off of your back I think God can explain I think God can explain I think God can explain promise...pagbuklat ko ng libro ko sa chapter ng derivatives, biglang sumama kalooban ko...parang nawalan ako ng energy, biglang nanghina, as in! parang feel ko pagod na pagod na ako tapos naiiyak na lang ako bigla...hahaha
||'| still waiting @ 10:11 PM |'||
namimiss ko na kau (si pearlfields & constantina, hindi mashado,pero kulang pa ang mga kuwentuhan natin) mirage
You Know Better Than I I thought I did what's right I thought I had the answers I thought I choose the surest road But that road brought me here So i put up a fight And told you how to help me Now just when i have given up The truth is coming clear Chorus 1: You know better than i You know the way I've let go the need to know why For You know better than I If this has been a test I cannot see the reason But maybe knowing I don't know is part of getting through I tried to do what's best But faith has made it easy To see the best thing i can do Is to put my trust in You. Chorus 2 For, You know better than i You know the way I've let go the need to know why For You know better than I Coda: I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky I saw a bird and thought that i could follow But it was You who taught that bird to fly If i let You reach me Will You teach me. (Repeat Chorus ) For, You know better than i You know the way I've let go the need to know why I'll take what answers you supply You know better than I ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* nahirapan tlga ako magisp ng irereact sayo_10.una kong naisip itong song. _10,*hug* masakit un,i know.paglipat nga lang ng course,masakit na rin. tama si ctina(constantina),ang mahalaga,ung course na gusto mo _10.kung nasan ka _10,galingan mo,at makikita yan kahit saan ka man magapply for work..truth be told,hindi rin naman tlga all best sa up,narealize ko yan dahil nandito ako.grabe,marami rin akong prof na walang kuwenta,i tell you.pumangit din ang tingin ko sa up lalo na masyadong mamulitika(yes,dad's case opened my eyes)..kaya lang naman maganda magaral dito dahil mura.cheapest good education,ika nila. mayabang lang talaga ang mga tao dito dahil noon #1 school ito pagdating sa lahat.pero ngaun hindi na..yup,hindi na.balita un samin.actually,im not sure, pero i think ateneo na daw.hihi.oo,un ang sabi sakin ctina...tska ung mga kakilala ko na grumadweyt na noon pa,the most imortant lesson na natutunan nila from up ay hindi ung studies mismo,its their independence.yup,independence.natutunan yan dahil sa enrolment natin,mainly,sabi nila. _10,i know you are independent and strong,you dont need up to teach you that. look at you now, sa dami ng pinagdaraanan mo ngaun,i can still say that you are not,i repeat, not a helpless wreck..kung ako sayo,siguro i would have been one. point is, its not imprtant where you are,its who you are and who you can become..yup,you cant always control what's happening pero you can control your actions and attitude.gets?besides,feu is also a good school you know.i have titos and titas who graduated there,tska mga kakilala like our pastor, and they turned out quite well,parang kay ctina. hay,hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin ko pa to make you feel better.kung anu ano na pala nasabi ko nonstop..kaya *hug* na lang ulit. dear,salamat sa pagshare samin. salamat sa trust. nandito lang kami lagi ha.makikinig.magsusuporta.magdadasal.magmahamahal. kaya yan_10. pearl(pearfields,ito na lang nick mo ha,pangit pag pf): grabeng haba naman men ng kuwento ni ursula.saka ko na babasahin.hehe.alam mo, natawa ako nung nabasa ko ung kuwento mo sa jeep.hindi ako natawa dahil nakakatawa siya,natawa kasi naalala ko nung kinuwento mo yan samin ni ctina eh tawa rin kami ng tawa kasi hindi namin alam na un na pla ung punchline..ang kyut mo talga pearl magkuwento.*grin* ctina: yeah,mas malapit na kau dito!!ahehehe..pag lumipat kayo,i mean.pwede bang more than overnight tayo?feeling ko super kulang yun eh.ahehe.joke lang..pero tlga,sana.hihi.:D starshine:ui,sama ka naman samin maglunch minsan!!!!pleaseplease!!paalam ka naman.kahit once a week.hehe.
||'| still waiting @ 12:13 AM |'||
music para nasa mood magbasa...pearlfields
||'| still waiting @ 8:22 PM |'||
ok go...pearlfields
siyempre wala na namang katuturan yung title ko...sana basahin niyo yung pinost ko na story kasi maganda talga yung story...any comments? nyway..._10...kaya mo yan...sispin mo lang yun...at kahit anuman mangyari, andito lang kami...tutulungan ka...tapos, miss na kita... tingin ko tama si constantina, _10..hindi naman mahalaga na grumaduate sa UP...hindi yun ang end all at be all ng tao... :) tuesday ata yun nung umuwi ako nang maaga. nang nasa jeep ako: bata sa jeep: 'tay saan dapat tumingin kapag nahihilo ka? tatay niya na nasa jeep din: sa labas. bsj: bakit? tnnnjd: para may air. bsj: ah. ahh...di ko rin alam yun...ahahaha....ang chepar ng feeling...basta may bagay na nsco-confuse talaga ako...alam ni constantina...pero wala namang kuwenta yun...some college stuff lang...
||'| still waiting @ 7:09 PM |'||
muni-muni ni constantina
Una, _10, huggssss para sayo. Mukhang marami ka ring kailangang ikuwento samin pag nagkita na tayong lahat face-to-face! Well, hindi na ako kailanmang maggrad sa UP (masters, baka, kung kayanin), at ok lang sakin yun, hahaha. Kahit UPIS man ako, kahit halos buong angkan ko sa side ng nanay ko UP grad. Yung mga pinsan ko sa side ng tatay ko grad ng Miriam, Uste, PSBA, at mukhang maayos naman ang mga buhay nila. Alam mo ba nung freshman ako, dumanas rin ako diyan sa situasyon mo? Kinukulit ko nanay ko na may parte sakin na nanghihinayang kasi di ako makakagrad sa UP, na pangarap ng halos sinomang nanggaling sa IS. Siyempre, kapag nagtrabaho na ako, yung mga katrabaho ko at siguro yung ibang mga taga-UP o san pa na makikilala ko baka magstereotype sakin kapag nalaman nila akong Atenista ako. Alam niyo na: mayabang, konyo, lang paki, etc. Sieympre, nanghinayang rin ako na hindi ako makakasuot ng sablay, hindi ko mararanasan yung yabang na UP forever ako. At oo, sa maraming tao, iba pa rin kapag grad ka ng UP. Pero ewan. Yung pinsan ko na grad ng AMA nagtayo ng sariling tindahan at ok-ok naman siya ngayon. Gaya nga ng sinabi ko, yung mga ibang pinsan ko, ok naman yung katayuan sa buhay. At tsismis lang, sinabi rin ng tito ko sa mother's side na UP grad (may-ari siya ng spice company) na ayaw niya yung nakukuha niyang vibe sa karamihan ng mga fresh UP grads na iniinterview niya, masyadong mayabang raw kasi. :D (No offense sa inyo ha, alam kong hindi naman kayo ganun) [At sinasabi ko sa inyo, ok rin na makakita ng mundo na iba sa UP, kahit pang compare-and-contrast lang. Alam ko na kung ano ang pinanggagalingan ng mga Atenista, mga taga-exclusive schools, mga 'upper crust', at nararanasan ko ang halos linggo-linggong pagdiin samin na kami yung mayaman, anak-mayaman, kulang na lang sabihin ng harap-harapang 'e kasi mayaman kayo kaya hindi niyo ito maiintindihan', walang paki sa buhay, ang pagtrato samin ng administrasyon at mga guro na wala talagang alam tungkol sa mga nangyayari sa labas. Iba talaga ito sa pagdiiin ng pagka- iskolar-ng-bayan na narinig natin halos buong HS, at no doubt patuloy niyo ring naririnig.] Napagdesisyunan ko na lang na gagawin ko nang challenge ang hindi ko pag-grad sa UP. Gusto kong ipakita na hindi naman lahat ng mga Atenista mga konyo, hahahaha. Pero siguro sa dulo ang pangunahing rason kung bakit ok lang sakin na hindi ako maggrad sa UP kasi ito talaga yung gusto kong kurso, kung san ko talaga nakikita sarili ko (kurso ha, kurso. hindi eskwelahan). Ok, so naging tungkol sakin yung post na to, diba? Sori at naging labo-labo. Oo, pride, well. May nararamdaman pa rin akong kirot kapag nadadaanan ko yung banners sa Univ. Ave ng mga nakagrad na nakasablay, pero sobrang kaunti na lang. Basta _10, kung ano mang maging desisyon mo, suportahan taka. Hahahahaha!
||'| still waiting @ 7:24 PM |'||
don't know what to do [_10]
I have some problems to share too... all regarding school. SHIFTING CONCERNS The deadline of shifting is on monday, April 30. I mistakenly passed my original TCG for another application, now, the OCS of CHE doesn't want my certified photocopy of TCG, they want the original one. Hindi ko yan maintindihan, eh pareho lang naman yun. Another thing is, I have to pass a certification of non-contract w/c our OCS didn't want to issue me at first because I have already applied for shifting in a course in my college. Akala ko hindi na talaga ako makakakuha. Tapos sinabi rin naman sakin na i can get it daw from the registrar. Too late the hero, I requested for it yesterday and will be getting it after a week. Eh, kumusta naman yun? Sa monday na nga deadline ng application. I asked if I can pass my application at ihahabol ko na lang ang requirements, sabi hindi daw, kailangan sabay-sabay at sa 30 na daw talaga ang deadline. Mama told me to apply in FEU, since I'm not really sure that I'll be able to get in the course I applied for inmy college. That will be my last option, to apply for BS Physical Therapy in FEU in Fairview. Honestly I don't want to transfer schools beacause I want to graduate from UP. Yan ang hindi ko masabi sa kahit na kanino. Sa inyo ko pa lang sinabi. Maybe it's because of the pride UP graduates get. Ano ba naman yung grumaduate ka from UPIS tapos hindi mo rin maitutuloy na tapusin sa college. Hindi naman sa ayaw ko talaga sa FEU. Actually gusto ko talaga kasi if I cannot pursue medicine, then being at least in the field would be enough. Ewan ko masyado lang ako nilalamon ng thought that I won't be graduating from UP. Sorry kung ma-drama, pero just to be honest ganun talaga. Parang nga naghihintay na lang ako ng magsasabi sa akin na not to graduate from UP is okay, the college which one came from doesn't really matter. I don't know... okay...enough drama...enough about me... sige i'll meassage you guys kung kelan ako free then let's meet before tracie's bday...the sooner the better :)
mirage: marami ka nga yatang kailangan ikuwento sa akin... i'll call/text you some time... thanks sa offer ng tulong... sabihan ko na lang kayo kung nakapag-shift na ako sa dil or whatever... like what constantina said we're all here for you... you surely are included in our prayers....
the rest: text text na lang guys...
||'| still waiting @ 4:36 PM |'||
Konnichiwa! Constantina des!
Mga men, di ko alam. Ewan ko ba sa summer na to. Yung isang prof ko sabog, yung isa boring, yung isa ok naman pero kwento ng kwento! Tas ewan, parang di ako makasulat. Oo, English man o Tagalog. Basta nagsulat ako ngayong summer para sa acads, exercise, etc, ang pangit ng lumalabas! Mali-mali yung grammar, nakakatamad basahin. Yung masama pa, alam ko na ngang la kwents yung sinusulat ko, di ko parin maayos. Ewan ko na ba talaga. Kamusta naman kayo mga men? Nagsusummer ba kayo o ano? Kitakits naman tayo! Mirage: Pagdadasal kita at yung buong pamilya mo. Kaya yan men! Basta nandito lang kami kung kailangan mo ng kausap. :) Lam niyo ba na baka hindi lang si Mirage yung maglipat-bahay? Kami rin ata malapit nang matuloy... baka sa Commonwealth o sa likod ng Katipunan. Haaaaay. Baguhin nga natin yung profile natin! I-edit niyo naman, para hindi to magmukhang blog namin ni pearlfields... :p
||'| still waiting @ 10:08 PM |'||
random thoughts for random people.....pearlfields ulit....(sorry guys, this isn't about you...
May kuwento ako. Matagal-tagal na rin akong nasa kolehiyo. Marami-rami na rin ang aking mga nakakasalamuha, at oo, gaya ng inaasahan sa malalaking unibersidad, maraming klase ng mga tao ang aking mga nakikilala. May mga tipong nakilala ako na mabait, oo, at masaya rin kasama. Sila yung madalas na nakakasama ko sa klase, ngunit pagkatapos ng isang semestre, pagkatapos naming magbigay ng iilang-text quotes sa isa't isa, kalimutan na ang sunod. Meron naman yung mga tipong nakikita ko palagi, nakakasalamuha ko paminsan-minsan, kunwari, yung mga tipong taga-department ko o kaya yung mga tipong taga-college ko. Sila naman yung mga taong alam kong hindi ko maiiwasan, kahit na minsan ayaw ko sa kanila o kaya di ako kumportable sa kanila. Okey lang. Keri. Kebs lang. Di naman talaga kami friends, acquaintances lang. Ngunit may mga nakilala na rin akong mga taong alam ko na ang pagkakaibigan namin ay yung for keeps. Yung tipong masasabi ko nang 'friends forever' kami, 'together forever' na kami. Kaso may mga panahong minsan maiisip ko na lang na may pagpapaalam din na magaganap sa amin. Kahit na mukang napaka-endless na ng mga pag-uusap namin, kahit na ang saya-saya ng mga panahong kasama ko sila...naiisip ko pa rin ito. Alam ko naman na nandito lang naman kami para sa isa't isa. Ngunit alam ko rin na hindi na madalas ang pag-aalala namin sa isa't isa. Nakakalungkot. Sayang. Sayang na naman dahil ang mga ganitong tipo ng tao, na masasabi kong totoong kaibigan, minsan, mas todo pa sa kaibigan, minsan, parang pillar of strength, source of support ko, at kuhanan ko na rin ng comfort, ay yung mga taong ayaw kong pakawalan, mami-miss ko, at alam ko na sila yung hindi lang basta-basta lamang darating sa buhay ko. Nakakainis. Kasi bakit ba laging ganito nagwo-work ang buhay? May makikila ka, magiging close kayo nang hindi mo namamalayan tapos paghihiwalayin kayo. Sasabihin niyo sa isa't isa na okey lang yan, magkikita pa tayo, pwede naman tayo mag-text eh, nandito lang ako, pero alam mo, sa loob-looban mo na maiiba na ang lahat sa inyo. Isa lamang ang magagawa ko, ito rin naman ang matagal ko nang ginagawa sa iba ko ring mga naging ka-close tapos humiwalay na kami ng landas. Iipunin ko na lang lahat ng mahahalagang naganap sa atin, yung mga touching moments, yung mga tipong naluluha ako kapag iniisip ko. Oo, iipunin ko sila. Pagkatapos, pag malungkot ako, babalikan ko ang mga ito. Kapag may mga bagay na bigla na lang ipapaaalala ikaw sa akin, gugunitain ko na lang ang mga panahon na close pa tayo. Titingnan ko yung friendster mo, yung multiply mo...Babalik. Babalik ako sayo. Sana lagi kang maging masAYA... :)
||'| still waiting @ 9:17 PM |'||
pearlfields ito...
The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas by Ursula K. Le Guin With a clamor of bells that set the swallows soaring, the Festival of Summer came to the city Omelas, bright-towered by the sea. The rigging of the boats in harbor sparkled with flags. In the streets between houses with red roofs and painted walls, between old moss-grown gardens and under avenues of trees, past great parks and public buildings, processions moved. Some were decorous: old people in long stiff robes of mauve and grey, grave master workmen, quiet, merry women carrying their babies and chatting as they walked. In other streets the music beat faster, a shimmering of gong and tambourine, and the people went dancing, the procession was a dance. Children dodged in and out, their high calls rising like the swallows’ crossing flights over the music and the singing. All the processions wound towards the north side of the city, where on the great water-meadow called the Green Fields boys and girls, naked in the bright air, with mud-stained feet and ankles and long, lithe arms, exercised their restive horses before the race. The horses wore no gear at all but a halter without bit. Their manes were braided with streamers of silver, gold, and green. They flared their nostrils and pranced and boasted to one another; they were vastly excited, the horse being the only animal who has adopted our ceremonies as his own. Far off to the north and west the mountains stood up half encircling Omelas on her bay. The air of morning was so clear that the snow still crowning the Eighteen Peaks burned with white-gold fire across the miles of sunlit air, under the dark blue of the sky. There was just enough wind to make the banners that marked the racecourse snap and flutter now and then. In the silence of the broad green meadows one could hear the music winding through the city streets, farther and nearer and ever approaching, a cheerful faint sweetness of the air that from time to time trembled and gathered together and broke out into the great joyous clanging of the bells. Joyous! How is one to tell about joy? How describe the citizens of Omelas? They were not simple folk, you see, though they were happy. But we do not say the words of cheer much any more. All smiles have become archaic. Given a description such as this one tends to make certain assumptions. Given a description such as this one tends to look next for the King, mounted on a splendid stallion and surrounded by his noble knights, or perhaps in a golden litter borne by great-muscled slaves. But there was no king. They did not use swords, or keep slaves. They were not barbarians. I do not know the rules and laws of their society, but I suspect that they were singularly few. As they did without monarchy and slavery, so they also got on without the stock exchange, the advertisement, the secret police, and the bomb. Yet I repeat that these were not simple folk, not dulcet shepherds, noble savages, bland utopians. They were not less complex than us. The trouble is that we have a bad habit, encouraged by pedants and sophisticates, of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil interesting. This is the treason of the artist: a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain. If you can’t lick ‘em, join ‘em. If it hurts, repeat it. But to praise despair is to condemn delight, to embrace violence is to lose hold of everything else. We have almost lost hold; we can no longer describe a happy man, nor make any celebration of joy. How can I tell you about the people of Omelas? They were not naive and happy children—though their children were, in fact, happy. They were mature, intelligent, passionate adults whose lives were not wretched. O miracle! but I wish I could describe it better. I wish I could convince you. Omelas sounds in my words like a city in a fairy tale, long ago and far away, once upon a time. Perhaps it would be best if you imagined it as your own fancy bids, assuming it will rise to the occasion, for certainly I cannot suit you all. For instance, how about technology? I think that there would be no cars or helicopters in and above the streets; this follows from the fact that the people of Omelas are happy people. Happiness is based on a just discrimination of what is necessary, what is neither necessary nor destructive, and what is destructive. In the middle category, however—that of the unnecessary but undestructive, that of comfort, luxury, exuberance, etc.—they could perfectly well have central heating, subway trains, washing machines, and all kinds of marvelous devices not yet invented here, floating light-sources, fuelless power, a cure for the common cold. Or they could have none of that; it doesn’t matter. As you like it. I incline to think that people from towns up and down the coast have been coming in to Omelas during the last days before the Festival on very fast little trains and double-decked trams, and that the train station of Omelas is actually the handsomest building in town, though plainer than the magnificent Farmers’ Market. But even granted trains, I fear that Omelas so far strikes some of you as goody-goody. Smiles, bells, parades, horses, bleh. If so, please add an orgy. If an orgy would help, don’t hesitate. Let us not, however, have temples from which issue beautiful nude priests and priestesses already half in ecstasy and ready to copulate with any man or woman, lover or stranger, who desires union with the deep godhead of the blood, although that was my first idea. But really it would be better not to have any temples in Omelas—at least, not manned temples. Religion yes, clergy no. Surely the beautiful nudes can just wander about, offering themselves like divine souffles to the hunger of the needy and the rapture of the flesh. Let them join the processions. Let tambourines be struck above the copulations, and the glory of desire be proclaimed upon the gongs, and (a not unimportant point) let the offspring of these delightful rituals be beloved and looked after by all. One thing I know there is none of in Omelas is guilt. But what else should there be? I thought at first there were not drugs, but that is puritanical. For those who like it, the faint insistent sweetness of drooz may perfume the ways of the city, drooz which first brings a great lightness and brilliance to the mind and limbs, and then after some hours a dreamy languor, and wonderful visions at last of the very arcana and inmost secrets of the Universe, as well as exciting the pleasure of sex beyond belief; and it is not habit-forming. For more modest tastes I think there ought to be beer. What else, what else belongs in the joyous city? The sense of victory, surely, the celebration of courage. But as we did without clergy, let us do without soldiers. The joy built upon successful slaughter is not the right kind of joy; it will not do; it is fearful and it is trivial. A boundless and generous contentment, a magnanimous triumph felt not against some outer enemy but in communion with the finest and fairest in the souls of all men everywhere and the splendor of the world’s summer: this is what swells the hearts of the people of Omelas, and the victory they celebrate is that of life. I really don’t think many of them need to take drooz. Most of the procession have reached the Green Fields by now. A marvelous smell of cooking goes forth from the red and blue tents of the provisioners. The faces of small children are amiably sticky; in the benign grey beard of a man a couple of crumbs of rich pastry are entangled. The youths and girls have mounted their horses and are beginning to group around the starting line of the course. An old women, small, fat, and laughing, is passing out flowers from a basket, and tall young men where her flowers in their shining hair. A child of nine or ten sits at the edge of the crowd, alone, playing on a wooden flute. People pause to listen, and they smile, but they do not speak to him, for he never ceases playing and never sees them, his dark eyes wholly rapt in the sweet, thin magic of the tune. He finishes, and slowly lowers his hands holding the wooden flute. As if that little private silence were the signal, all at once a trumpet sounds from the pavilion near the starting line: imperious, melancholy, piercing. The horses rear on their slender legs, and some of them neigh in answer. Sober-faced, the young riders stroke the horses’ necks and soothe them, whispering, “Quiet, quiet, there my beauty, my hope....” They begin to form in rank along the starting line. The crowds along the racecourse are like a field of grass and flowers in the wind. The Festival of Summer has begun. Do you believe? Do you accept the festival, the city, the joy? No? Then let me describe one more thing. In a basement under one of the beautiful public buildings of Omelas, or perhaps in the cellar of one of its spacious private homes, there is a room. It has one locked door, and no window. A little light seeps in dustily between cracks in the boards, secondhand from a cobwebbed window somewhere across the cellar. In one corner of the little room a couple of mops, with stiff, clotted, foul-smelling heads stand near a rusty bucket. The floor is dirt, a little damp to the touch, as cellar dirt usually is. The room is about three paces long and two wide: a mere broom closet or disused tool room. In the room a child is sitting. It could be a boy or a girl. It looks about six, but actually is nearly ten. It is feeble-minded. Perhaps it was born defective, or perhaps it has become imbecile through fear, malnutrition, and neglect. It picks its nose and occasionally fumbles vaguely with its toes or genitals, as it sits hunched in the corner farthest from the bucket and the two mops. It is afraid of the mops. It finds them horrible. It shuts its eyes, but it knows the mops are still standing there; and the door is locked; and nobody will come. The door is always locked; and nobody ever comes, except that sometimes—the child has no understanding of time or interval—sometimes the door rattles terribly and opens, and a person, or several people, are there. One of them may come in and kick the child to make it stand up. The others never come close, but peer in at it with frightened, disgusted eyes. The food bowl and the water jug are hastily filled, the door is locked, the eyes disappear. The people at the door never say anything, but the child, who has not always lived in the tool room, and can remember sunlight and its mother’s voice, sometimes speaks. “I will be good,” it says. “Please let me out. I will be good!” They never answer. The child used to scream for help at night, and cry a good deal, but now it only makes a kind of whining, “eh-haa, eh-haa,” and it speaks less and less often. It is so thin there are no calves to its legs; its belly protrudes; it lives on a half-bowl of corn meal and grease a day. It is naked. Its buttocks and thighs are a mass of festered sores, as it sits in its own excrement continually. They all know it is there, all the people of Omelas. Some of them have come to see it, others are content merely to know it is there. They all know that it has to be there. Some of them understand why, and some do not, but they all understand that their happiness, the beauty of their city, the tenderness of their friendships, the health of their children, the wisdom of their scholars, the skill of their makers, even the abundance of their harvest and the kindly weathers of their skies, depend wholly on this child’s abominable misery. This is usually explained to children when they are between eight and twelve, whenever they seem capable of understanding; and most of those who come to see the child are young people, though often enough an adult comes, or comes back, to see the child. No matter how well the matter has been explained to them, these young spectators are always shocked and sickened at the sight. They feel disgust, which they had thought themselves superior to. They feel anger, outrage, impotence, despite all the explanations. They would like to do something for the child. But there is nothing they can do. If the child were brought up into the sunlight out of that vile place, if it were cleaned and fed and comforted, that would be a good thing indeed; but if it were done, in that day and hour all the prosperity and beauty and delight of Omelas would wither and be destroyed. Those are the terms. To exchange all the goodness and grace of every life in Omelas for that single, small improvement: to throw away the happiness of thousands for the chance of the happiness of one: that would be to let guilt within the walls indeed. The terms are strict and absolute; there may not even be a kind word spoken to the child. Often the young people go home in tears, or in a tearless rage, when they have seen the child and faced this terrible paradox. They may brood over it for weeks or years. But as time goes on they begin to realize that even if the child could be released, it would not get much good of its freedom: a little vague pleasure of warmth and food, no doubt, but little more. It is too degraded and imbecile to know any real joy. It has been afraid too long ever to be free of fear. Its habits are too uncouth for it to respond to humane treatment. Indeed, after so long it would probably be wretched without walls about it to protect it, and darkness for its eyes, and its own excrement to sit in. Their tears at the bitter injustice dry when they begin to perceive the terrible justice of reality, and to accept it. Yet it is their tears and anger, the trying of their generosity and the acceptance of their helplessness, which are perhaps the true source of the splendor of their lives. Theirs is no vapid, irresponsible happiness. They know that they, like the child, are not free. They know compassion. It is the existence of the child, and their knowledge of its existence, that makes possible the nobility of their architecture, the poignancy of their music, the profundity of their science. It is because of the child that they are so gentle with children. They know that if the wretched one were not there sniveling in the dark, the other one, the flute-player, could make no joyful music as the young riders line up in their beauty for the race in the sunlight of the first morning of summer. Now do you believe in them? Are they not more credible? But there is one more thing to tell, and this is quite incredible. At times one of the adolescent girls or boys who go to see the child does not go home to weep or rage, does not, in fact, go home at all. Sometimes also a man or woman much older falls silent for a day or two, and then leaves home. These people go out into the street, and walk down the street alone. They keep walking, and walk straight out of the city of Omelas, through the beautiful gates. They keep walking across the farmlands of Omelas. Each one goes alone, youth or girl, man or woman. Night falls; the traveler must pass down village streets, between the houses with yellow-lit windows, and on out into the darkness of the fields. Each alone, they go west or north, towards the mountains. They go on. They leave Omelas, they walk ahead into the darkness, and they do not come back. The place they go towards is a place even less imaginable to most of us than the city of happiness. I cannot describe it at all. It is possible that it does not exist. But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas. ******** nung summer last year ko nabasa ito...miss ko na yung summer na yun...ang fun kasi ng classes ko nun....
||'| still waiting @ 9:14 PM |'||
:)
pearlfields:what was it that u wanted to talk about?ito na ba un?i shuld have called you.ang hirap mag react. _10:musta pagshift?may class ako ng 9-11 at 3-5.if u want to hang out sabihin mo lang.samahan kita sa diliman kung may lalakarin kang papers. constantina:oisst.kailan tau maglulunch together??tska txt o raw si caleb para alam nia free time mo. rox:i saw joey kanina.hindi ka pa rin nagkukuwento.tsktsk.ikukuwento ko na sana sau nung hinatid niya ako sa bahay nun.nagpapalakas ata sau.haha. ui guys!!!!!!!!dapat magkita tau ngaung summer.dapat magkita tau before naman ang celebration ni teresita.hehe. hay.ang dami ko nang kuwento. lalo na para kay jez. ui lilipat na kami.ewan ko lang pero kakasabi ni ma na gusto nia sa antipolo. ang ganda kasi dun.malayo pero maganda tlga girls. baka dun na tlga.we need to decide na eh and start building asap.kasi i think puputulin na ng dad ko ang connection nia sa up so we have to find a place, fast. im gonna miss living here.hay. baka magkadriver kami.tulungan mo kami tere ha.hehe. there'll be a lot of changes sa amin.hay. visit kau samin pag may new house na kami.may clubhouse dun.swimming tau! btw,ang galing naman ng slideshow natin men!ang ganda.wow,tas may pictures pa nung nag fieldtrip tau!!!ang galing!! which reminds me,kailan tau magpapastudio pic? gusto ko na!!! cge na please please kahit sa vinsons lang tau.ok na un. para marami pa taung pic. tska para may ipapakita nako na pic sa mga tao na kumpleto ang barkada.hehe. hay guys. miss ko na kau. wala akong makausap na tulad sa inyo. buti na lang si aya naging classmate ko pa. hihi. ui,kumusta ang summer? grabe.ang saya ng sakin. nakakuha ako ng PI 100!super praise God.ilang araw din ang prerog dito.tapos ung eng 1 ko ang saya din dahil sa prof.parang nung eng 11 natin rox.ganun ka saya.lively ang discussions.fun ang subject,in contrast sa sinasabi ng iba.napunta kasi sila sa pangit na prof.anyway guys,which reminds me,there's this guy na classmate ko sa eng1.eek.parang mejo gusto niyang maging close kami.lagi nakong gustong samahan after class o di kaya pag may hw sa lib eh sasabayan niya ako.nagttxt pa siya kung kumain na ba ako or what.i dnt reply.hihi.good thing though ay nililibre niya ako.haha.as in.wala akong binabayad kahit pag nagpaprint or ikot.excuse niya ay hindi siya nagpapabayad pag may kasama siyang girl.sayang pwede na sana kaso walang kotse eh!!ahaaha.ang bad ko tlga.joke lang!!!siyempre i wont break my promise.hindi ako magkakaboyfriend.besides,he's not a christian. ok,setting aside boys...oh ano aya may pinalit ka na kay u knw who? ahehe. anyway,kumusta life in general friends?may issues ba kau or prayer requests? ako,may issues pa rin ako.sainyo ko lang nga sasabhin tska dun sa discipler ko. ganto kasi un.hindi ko pa rin napapatawad ung gumawa ng masama sa dad ko.u knw naman un eh.i think.juz ask me for details.aun.masakit siyempre.matagal ako nagtampo kay Lord.kasi naman sa lahat ng prob bakit un pa? and i simply cant see the good out of it.sinira niya pangalan ng dad ko,even if he's innocent.palibhasang pulitika.isang someone kasi and dad nung girl(ndi siya student,prof din, take note) sa up.heck.i still hate her.ay no, i loathe her.for the first time in my entire life,i wanted someone dead.if thoughts could kill,she'd be in hell right now.yup,that's how much im angry(angry is an understatement).hindi ko openly masabi/makuwento sa inyo kasi iiyak lang ako.ayoko na tlga umiyak.tama na.matagal na kasi akong umiiyak dahil dun.ang laki kasi ng effect samin,emotionally.spiritually and financially.ayoko na.pero kailangan ko ilabas.i feel like im bursting inside.ewan.masakit tlga.lalo na nasa up pako.hay.pasensya na at dito ko pa nailabas.hindi ko na kasi mahintay ung araw na magkakasama tau,para sabaysabay ko makuwento.dito na lang.kailangan ko lang tlga ilabas.this might help me actually accept it,you knw.misan i wish it never happened. ayun muna.one issue at a time.mahirap na baka kung anong mangyari sakin.ayokong mabaliw. gosh guys.we're indeed growing up. paalam na muna.paubos na netcard namin. kita tau ha.txt nio ako.alam nio na sched ko. mahal ko kau.
||'| still waiting @ 9:29 PM |'||
bored pearlfields ito
hmmm...nakakatamad! as in wala akong ginagawa kundi matulog, kumain, manood ng tv...wala na...tapos 1 pa lang na libro ang nababasa ko ngayon...nakakahinayang dahil next week pasok na naman! waaah! i'm so sick of this life! forever na ganito buhay ko until i graduate tapos when i graduate malamang tuloy-tuloy na rin yun...bakit ba dinesign nang ganito ang buhay? dapat kasi after high school may break muna ng 1 year eh! para napag-isipan ang mga bagay-bagay, kung anong course talaga ang gusto mong kunin, makapahinga, whatever....ngayon tuloy nawawalan na ako ng fuel....hahahahaha...feeling ko rin nagkakaroon ng sira yung utak ko at umoonti na lang mga brain cells ko...haay... kamusta ang mga bakasyon niyo? i really don't know what todo in life...feeling ko hindi pa rin ako naggro-grow up...sobrang gusto kong bumalik ng elem (ket grade 6 lang)...hahahaha....
||'| still waiting @ 6:36 PM |'||
|